neilman, as I think of him when writing good omens back in the 90s: exactly the same as now, an older and little bit weary guy who’s seen a lot written a lot done a lot. fairly wise and has had decades of life experience. looks like the odd grand uncle that’s the younger brother to your grandmother and you only see maybe twice every 5 years but he always imparts a weird but thoughtful tale from his youth that leaves you stunned and existential
neilman, actually:
some punk ass bitch wearing shades indoors, a cocky smug motherfucker who thinks he knows what hot shit is and that he’s it. this man is illiterate and does not look like he wrote good omens with esteemed author sir terry pratchett but rather did several hits of cocaine of a balcony railing post rock concert. he looks like crowley
My Good Omens copy has a picture of Neilman and Terry in the back, and if it wasn’t for the Pratchett Hat, I would have assumed it was just some models they hired for a pictured of Crowley and Aziraphale.
How dare you put that comment without sharing the picture?!
It was a library book, so I can’t. You might be able to find it searching for Good Omens 20th anniversary edition.
So I’ll just describe it in more detail. Terry was wearing a white suit and Neil black leather and sunglasses. They were in front of some ruined brick wall.
Is this the one?
At the NADWCon back in 2011 they talked about writing Good Omens and pitching it. Neil was staying over at the Pratchett house for some reason, I think they were pitching the book to someone, and he was sleeping in the attic. Unbeknownst to Neil, Terry’s daughter was keeping pigeons on the roof. He left the skylight open because it was hot. So he woke up to pigeons fluttering around him. Terry went up to go wake up him, saw this scene of him sitting up in bed with birds fluttering around him dramatically, and yelled “You bastard! You’re so fucking stylish even when you’re asleep!”
(It’s been years I might not be totally accurate on this story)
if you read in a frog paper “specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” chances are very good that what it actually means is
“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”
sometimes when i am sad i go read through the tags on this post, because they are 70% other biologists saying things like “AND ALSO FUCK FIELD MICE” and “THAT CRAB ALMOST BROKE MY FINGER” and I am reassured that I am not the only one who has bobbled a wood frog right into their cleavage.
plus six or seven people who just….can’t figure out what a frog paper could possibly be. (guys it’s…a scientific paper. about frogs.)
and this one
which made me laugh despairingly because i mean
bro you don’t even know.
what is the code entomologists use for “i stepped on it, i’m so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small”
“Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions.”
‘impromptu dissection’ is an alarming phrase in any context and i thank you for it
What’s biologist for “the little fucker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex”?
“Specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses”
I am reblogging this 98% for the second to last comment holy shit I’m fucking choking
“Showed extreme vigour at release” in wildlife rehab and wildlife tagging studies/bird banding counts means “the asshole bit me and tried to attack my head when I let him go” so you guys know.
Though my favourite research bullshit story comes from a girl I met in university. Her thesis is on clove oil for pain relief and finding a way to make 99% pure clove essential oil for this purpose. They keep running trials but are getting 60-80% pure no matter how they calibrate the machine. Students being students decided to sneak into the lab at night and try make hash oil with this machine cause I think 25% is the most you can get even getting the extra potent medical kind even now. So students were like imagine even if it only comes out 60% we can get so high. While they are getting it ready to run and make super potent concentrated hash so literally one drop would get you high, someone dropped a glass vial and cut their hand on it bleeding over the machine. They cleaned up the blood and ran it with the cannabis and got 99% pure thc oil. The machine worked how it was supposed to. To hide evidence of having run weed through it they made a batch of clove oil and sure enough 99% pure. She told the prof she had an idea last night to try to get the machine working that still didn’t work but she had cut herself accidentally on some glass and bled on it a bit and she had run a test worried she broke the whole machine and it was 99% pure. The prof tried and again 99% pure. The machine just needed a blood sacrifice apparently. It was noted in the paper something about “additional lubrication of the (part of the machine that was bled on) was required to yield desired results following calibration” was how I broke into a lab to make hash oil on university equipment, bled over it, and somehow it worked to fix the problem was put into her paper.
I’m vaguely upset that it didn’t get referred to as a blood sacrifice to the machine in the academic paper.
ii. A jock who looks like they Do Not Belong but is somehow better than everyone else?
iii. Royals, most likely English. Need to know something about Queen Victoria? They have it covered, probably have a powerpoint ready
iv. Has read every single history book there is to read. Ready to fight all the professors with their strangely extensive knowledge on Literally Everything
v. Has read no books but is still ready to fight the professors on everything, half the class facepalms when they raise their hand
vi. Obsessed with latin and the classics, finds a way to make some connection to Ancient Rome even when talking about World War I
vii. Studies The Gays™ , ready to mention one whenever a topic comes even close to one
viii. Knows all the dates but can not remember names for the life of them
ix. Knows all the names but can not remember dates even if their life depended on it
x. That person who is just a little too into Machiavelli
xi. Already knows exactly what event/person they want to research for the rest of their life, has absolutely no interest in courses that don’t relate to that topic
xii. Could not care less about practical topics, only interested in things like pirates and witchcraft
xiii. Didn’t know what they wanted to do with life and picked history because “it gives you the tools for many different things”
xiv. “We should all just be communists” and “Marx seriously had some good ideas”
xv. Does archery, medieval sword fighting and medieval fairs in their free time, super crafty but can also actually kill you
I don’t know about tips, but I can share my process of essay-writing for literature and philosophy courses. I use MHRA referencing. I have written on essays and writing style before here: [x]
1. Deciding on a topic – this seems obvious but I always try and choose a topic which is interesting, or inspiring (or that I disagree with and makes me angry).
Start thinking as soon as possible about possible arguments. If there is an essay question or quote to respond to, underline key terms and make them the starting point for research.
2. Reading and research – write down every quote relevant to the essay topic, both primary and secondary reading, in a document with annotations and thoughts on each one, as well as the full reference. I usually start by defining my terms, then branch out from there.
‘It seems to me the most sensible answer is this: approach two or three of the most general critical texts immediately, just to get an idea of the background against which your author moves. Then approach the original author directly, and always try to understand exactly what he says. Afterwards, explore the rest of the critical literature. Finally, return to examine the author in the light of the newly acquired ideas. But this advice is quite abstract. In reality, students tend to follow the rhythm of their desire, and often there is nothing wrong with consuming texts in a disorderly way.’
Umberto Eco, How to Write a Thesis (Cambridge: MIT Press, 2015), p. 103.
3. Planning – think about the structure before starting to write. Essays usually have:
an introduction
a critical framework (this may be defining terms, or situating your argument in relation to other works on the same topic)
analysis
conclusions
There might be a section before concluding which revisits the second section in light of analysis. In an essay of 5,000 words, 1,000-2,000 words might be the introduction and critical framework, followed by 2,000 words of analysis and between 500 and 1,000 words to conclude. Equally weighted sections should make an essay seem well balanced and paced.
I usually give myself lots of helpful section headings to keep the essay structure from going astray. I even write instructions: ‘write a sentence or paragraph here about…’, ‘don’t forget to try and work in…’. This also means you won’t start with a blank page.
4. Writing – I start either in my analysis section or in the critical framework. These are the main sections of the essay. I always try to define the terms I use as clearly as possible, and situate my argument within the field (i.e. argue with other writers on the same topic). Write conclusions and introductions last to frame the essay. Footnote and reference during the writing process.
Analysis paragraphs should have an argument, a quote to back it up, an explanation of how the quote backs up the argument, then a link to the next paragraph. UK students often use the acronym PEEL – Point, Evidence, Explanation, Link. It works in most cases.
5. Editing – reading aloud helps, as does proofreading (especially if done by someone else, or printed rather than on a screen). Taking a day away can give clarity. Beware of over-editing! : - )
just sticking my head in to say that my student essays are incredible. they just came in this morning and so far i have
one entitled “Grendel’s Mother Deserved Better: Men Are Trash,” which includes a note that women “have been folded into the pockets of insecure men, unable to truly shine as the evil queens they deserve to be.”
an essay on SGGK written entirely in alliterative prose, with a bob and wheel at the end
a really gorgeous paper on how being lonely is disorienting (via the wanderer)
the following opening line: “The devil certainly does wear Prada, and she’s not here to play as a mere protagonist. Grendel’s mom…”
and also they are just…. very smart!! smart papers! sharp writing! actual close reading, which is sometimes a struggle to make happen!! wow i have so many of these to read but i am actually excited to get at them.